I don't think two months ago I could've ever quite thought things would be as they are. But I guess that's what they mean when they tell you to not plan too far ahead and to not think things are forever. Being with John made me realize a lot of things. Made me think about someone else for a change other than myself. But I suppose it didn't take till this new relationship to realize how rather young, forward and..selfish I can still be. It's only natural for humans to be selfish. Caring, understanding and unselfishness are not given qualities are not born. They are learned. I'm still learning as I found today. As much as I hope for a future with someone, I have to be reserved. Not only for their sake but for my own. I will admit..it's not so bad as I thought it would be. I've never been a fan of taking things day by day although the near eight months I spent with John should've taught me more. I spend a lot of my time thinking now..picking my words more carefully. And trying not to bring up certain topics. I don't know where boundaries are..and that's kinda scary to me. I'm only a person. I'm not perfect. And in fact..most of the time I don't know how to say the right thing..or grasp that I shouldn't have said anything at all. I can't blame my age..only my experience. Every mistake is a learning process..and I'm still learning.
No comments:
Post a Comment