So, today marks near day one. He's supposed to leave for Iraq anywhere between 12-1:30 PST time (he's EST). I never thought it would hit me so hard to have our last phone call. That it's indefinite the next time I will speak to him. That I will never ever be able to call him or text him. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I can't even describe this feeling I have in my stomach. It's just sick and vile and I know that I will never grow used to it.
Maybe in a months time, things will not be so bad, he'll be more settled and I'll be able to talk to him more regularly but right now I can only find myself thinking about tonight, tomorrow and the next few days. It doesn't seem so long but when you grow used to talking to someone on a daily basis at all times..when that is broken, it is the worst thing to feel.
I know I told you all that as it grew closer I found myself searching "How to deal with deployment?" And I'm telling you, it's a good idea to if you're a first-timer. I can't have all the answers by any means. I will tell you this: I feel like holing up in my room and crying my eyes out. I have little desire to do anything but think about him. But I know after Thursday I need to begin to focus on other things to keep me busy. I will make these key points:
Maybe in a months time, things will not be so bad, he'll be more settled and I'll be able to talk to him more regularly but right now I can only find myself thinking about tonight, tomorrow and the next few days. It doesn't seem so long but when you grow used to talking to someone on a daily basis at all times..when that is broken, it is the worst thing to feel.
I know I told you all that as it grew closer I found myself searching "How to deal with deployment?" And I'm telling you, it's a good idea to if you're a first-timer. I can't have all the answers by any means. I will tell you this: I feel like holing up in my room and crying my eyes out. I have little desire to do anything but think about him. But I know after Thursday I need to begin to focus on other things to keep me busy. I will make these key points:
- Friends and family are key. I cannot stress this more and it also helps to have friends or family around you who know exactly what you're going through. I'm blessed to have two who are experiencing the same situation.
- If you go to school, focus. It helps.
- If you work, get as many hours as you can, but please don't overdo. Just enjoy your work as busy time to keep your mind busy.
There are endless possibilities as to what you can do, don't limit yourself and don't be afraid to think about him/her. I know for a fact that this is hard, I've been told and now I'm going through it but I cannot tell you how much it is worth it in the end.
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