Recently you mentioned volunteering to redeploy..and I quite honestly don't know what to say. It's almost like, there isn't anything to say. To me it could easily, quite easily, translate to me that you don't want to be home. I don't really understand..still don't. Why choose to be gone when you were just gone for an entire year? And for what?
The Army should hardly play a role in our relationship yet it does. I feel like I'm fighting to be most important half the time. And the other half of the time..it doesn't matter. I've already lost that fight. I shouldn't have to compete for attention..I suppose it's not your fault. It's your job right? Comes with the job? You don't know how badly you upset/irritated me with that. "Comes with the job." Probably one of the crappiest things you could've said to me..
The Army should hardly play a role in our relationship yet it does. I feel like I'm fighting to be most important half the time. And the other half of the time..it doesn't matter. I've already lost that fight. I shouldn't have to compete for attention..I suppose it's not your fault. It's your job right? Comes with the job? You don't know how badly you upset/irritated me with that. "Comes with the job." Probably one of the crappiest things you could've said to me..
A lot of the things we talked about, the things I hoped for seem to grow more and more distant as the day goes. From I might not be home for Christmas, to I might volunteer to redeploy, to next year you might not be able to move, to I might have an extension on my deployment..it doesn't stop does it? Empty things that were said when you said, "it's not gunna happen." And I said, "you don't know that." But no, you said it wouldn't happen. I knew better. I mean c'mon? I have a mom from the Army too. Friends. I know how this goes. Nothing's "promised."
Sometimes I feel like you're just telling me a half-truth. Trying to keep me happy because you know these things upset me, but at least you would be being honest. What else gets pushed back? More us? I have a feeling it's never gunna end. And maybe it's my impatience..but still it's a fear, and it's there.
I can see a lot of sorrys..and maybe next year. Tell me I'm wrong.
Sometimes I feel like you're just telling me a half-truth. Trying to keep me happy because you know these things upset me, but at least you would be being honest. What else gets pushed back? More us? I have a feeling it's never gunna end. And maybe it's my impatience..but still it's a fear, and it's there.
I can see a lot of sorrys..and maybe next year. Tell me I'm wrong.
"Today, he told her that he loved her, put a ring around her finger and promised her forever, together. Today, she smiled for the pictures..he was right there with her."
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